Expectancy

Good day world!

I just have to thank God for new grace and mercy everyday! As I sit and think about all that I have currently...I become more and more grateful for it. As I desire change daily, I try to keep myself in a state of preparation & expectancy so that when the Lord feels its time to move me forward I am ready!

After a weird last week, I feel Him moving me closer to the next journey. I have created a schedule for myself and eliminated a lot of junk (old junk, toxic people, television, etc), doing more reading and meditating and working out again.  I've gotta make sure that I not only workout my body but my mind as well.  In doing this, my days are becoming brighter and brighter and more and more is revealed on a daily basis. Some things I'm like "wow" about and others I felt were soon coming anyway. Some people try to shut me out and/or keep their distance for whatever reasons, some simply moving on and others with open arms and embracing our relationship as it is. Honestly, I'm cool with all of it. Everything & everyone has their season and some seasons do come to an end.

I've even enrolled to get my certification in something that I've been fighting for some time and now I'm feeling really good about it and my future. Confirmation comes in different ways and I try to keep my ears and eyes open for it. I even have two new clients that I'm working with on helping them. Those moments of attack always bring brighter, happier days and as they say its always darkest right before the dawn.

Everyday I understand more and more that my life is not about me at all.  I think for all of us when we begin to understand that, we truly see the purpose (our purpose) begin to unfold in our lives. I challenge each of you who read my post to wake up and ask yourself every morning, what can I do for someone else today that God will be pleased with.

thanks for reading my random thoughts....wishing you a powerful & productive day!

~thegorgeousdork

Struggle

Have you ever felt stuck? Ever know that this just can't be it? Well I have been helping a few people with this and what do you know... I find myself this past week in the same spot. It amazes me that when you are fully committed to living right, honoring God, being better and that whole basket of becoming great that the devil attacks you to no end. Money seems to be a little off, friendships/relationships seem to be irritated, goals a little blurry, people you come in contact with pressing your buttons, on the job issues. Ha, I am laughing at that enemy boy... I will not allow him to cause me to self destruct or throw me off.

The Lord has made promises. I am putting in the work I need to but I know I have to do more, especially when being attacked. I know my breakthrough is so close that I can literally touch it. I am not going to interfere with God's plan by trying to create my own...so I sit still. I fast, I pray. Slowly but surely the attacks dwindle, the clouds move out, the sun begins to shine brighter and my smile lasts longer. I am thankful that I have the holy spirit to assist me through the trials, dance in the rain and make a hell of a lemonade with the lemons.

The enemy cannot win and will not win, I have on the whole armor of God.

I did not update you on my conference/retreat I hosted but I will give you a quick review. I truly believe lives were changed that weekend. I know that everyone there received something from each speaker because they were each pretty awesome. I pray that each of them not only received something but that they apply as they move forward in their lives. I thank God for the vision for that and the continuation that HE is giving me. His instructions are changing and I will follow. I unfortunately did not take any pictures but one of the speakers did. I will post one that shows all of us at our LBD (little black dress) Dinner. The climax of the retreat happened to be on that crazy Eve spirit us ladies have and boy did that speaker go down everyone's street at some point through the night. I returned home and made some changes in all that I learned. I created a new budget that I learned from the finance workshop, cleared out my closet and rid myself of what doesn't match my style anymore which I learned from the Fashion workshop, have been working my butt off so that I can feel better and look better which I learned from the Fitness workshop and slowing down which I had to do over from my own workshop. I have so much more information to share with everyone that I will do it again. I could make it big but I'll keep it small for the moment unless I am given instructions from God. I plan to remain on the high I left with from the women's conference.

Anywho, I hope that if you're feeling how I had been that this post helped or will help you when you're feeling stuck. Remember the enemy will do everything to keep you from reaching the next level...do not fall for it. There is greatness ahead of you just keep going, reach further...I promise its there. Don't let those stumbling blocks make you fall just stumble and keep it moving.

over and out
~thegorgeousdork

I love when I listen to God

So, if you're a reader of my blog you know that I have an upcoming ladies weekend retreat.

Well, the event is next weekend and the closer it gets the more ecstatic I get. As I've said in previous posts this is something that I've been wanting to do for a little while but maybe not in the form of a retreat. Well, God spoke and that's what its been turned in to. I swear when He speaks, He gives you all the things, people, etc that you need to execute. I'm so blessed that He gave me the best people for the job. I'm doing a workshop on lifestyle/personal development, a friend, Andrea is covering fitness, a friend Manisa is doing a workshop on finance, another friend Jennifer is covering faith/spirituality and my friend and fellow blogger Toni is doing her workshop on fashion. How awesome is that? Too awesome.

We have a great variety of women who have made an investment in themselves and trust us to bring them knowledge on the above areas. Even though I am the planner of this event I am so looking forward to all the workshops.

We start out that Friday with registration, a workshop and a late night social. Saturday is where the remainder of the workshops will take place and our fabulous "Little Black Dress" dinner. Sunday we will join one last time for breakfast and to share our experiences from the weekend.  I am praying for a very successful weekend surrounded with my friends and other women who ware looking to make improvements in their lives.

I promise that after its over I will post pics and report how awesome it was.  There will definitely be more of these events in the future and I can't wait. Maybe next time you will join us.  The other ladies aren't bloggers but if you're interested in great fashion, thrifting, styling tips...check out prettydarkgirlstyle.blogspot.com

Wishing you all a great weekend. I will be finalizing plans for next weekend and treating my mom to dinner and some mommy/me time.

toodles
~thegorgeousdork

The Celebration

So...the honey woke me up and told me to get ready Saturday morning. "Be ready by 10:30", so of course I followed instructions. I was told to not get dressed up or anything so I put on some jeans, a striped cotton shirt and a black cardigan since it was a little chilly in the morning. We quickly leave and soon after arrive at Cosmopolitan Salon and Day Spa..."awww" was my immediate thought but then I realize he sends me alone.

The staff quickly had me check in and offered coffee, tea or water but I declined since I would soon be lying down for my massage. I was given a very awesome massage by Stephanie for a good hour and ten minutes and was even complimented on my skin. (*blushing*). After the massage I was drinking my cup of water when I was told to follow another lady to a room. Once we arrive in the room there's a pedicure chair with magazines, etc. I happily hopped on up into the chair and rolled up my jeans for my fabulous hour long pedicure. The lady was very nice, I can't remember her name at the moment (senior moment). Shortly after the pedicure was over I was told to have a seat at her station where I received a manicure. While getting the manicure, my tall, handsome hubby walks in in a nice shirt and jeans. Hmm, what is he up to? He goes to the counter and pays while all the staff sent us on our way with huge smiles.

I carefully walk out to the car where the hubby says okay you're ready to eat? Of course, so we head to Aha Sushi which is a fav of mine but they weren't open yet. We then drive back in the direction we had already come from to hit up Sushi Thai.. Nom, Nom, Nom...what a wonderful time!

So, after lunch I see he's pretty ready to go so we pay the bill and quickly leave. Headed towards the tollway now, my mind is racing because I have no idea where we're going.  I don't have the proper clothes on to be going somewhere is all I'm thinking. I say to him, "I thought I was going to get to go home and change" and softly tells me "babe, its okay".  *Sigh*...

We're driving and driving and driving..lol. We're like way out south (south suburbs). Where the heck are we going and I can softly hear the GPS saying "In .4 miles your destination is on your right", all I see is a Burger King sign. WTH. So we pull into the parking lot of a gray building that looks nothing like somewhere we should be going and boom, I see the sign. Aura, adults only. LOL. The hubby had got us a nice room and it actually felt like we were away. Awww, that's all I could say.  So, we pull around back after being let through a gate and park. He pops the trunk where he grabs two bags...he had packed one for me, how sweet.

 The shower was amazing

 Loved this fireplace..

If you're in the area and looking for a nice getaway, I highly recommend it. I loved the exclusivity of the place and with it being an hour away it felt like we had actually gone away. Looking forward to our real vacation though...nothing like beaches and fruity cocktails. He definitely pulled off a fabulous weekend and I was surely surprised. I love me some him.

That Sunday, we slept in and eventually found our way back to "home". It began to pour down rain on our way back so we picked up some takeout and watched movies. My mom stopped by to wish us a Happy Anniversary and she brought us dinner. The hubbs had been up all day Saturday after working over night Friday so he clonked out. After his nap we got up and cut the cake, which was just as delicious as it was the wedding day. What a great, low-key anniversary celebration. I'm super relaxed, just too bad we didn't win the lottery so I didn't have to come back to work. Thankfully I have the memory to keep me sane while working LOL.
Our top layer from wedding day

 Our wedding day glasses

 Wine from our honeymoon that we managed to save

Its almost time

This Sunday, May 6, 2012 will be my one year anniversary with my husband. This year has been great but also a learning experience. I'm so grateful that we made it and have stuck it out through the storms of life.

I've known my husband since we were in the 8th grade, he happened to be my first love. We dated for about a year and 3 months and decided to break up because of us getting in trouble lol. After a few months of being upset with him and him finding a new girlfriend I couldn't see him not being in my life so we remained friends and had been friends for the last 18 years. Our friendship has encountered much, we've watched other relationships come and go, been there for each other during the break ups, lost loved ones, mature, he had a daughter and so much more. We never let our friendship die, even during the little spats we had. He always had a very special place in my heart and I knew no matter what I'd always be in his life somehow.

As I think back to the late night calls and making him run to the 24 hour Walmart with me or just coming and watching movies with me...smiles quickly cover my face. He did anything for me but I never looked at him as my "soulmate". We made a bet that by the time we were 25 if we weren't married then we'd marry each other but that time came and we were both single and I just didn't think anything of it. So a couple more years went by and a few more relationships as well but something started changing. I was noticing myself getting a little jealous if he couldn't come out with me or what have you. We started spending time together but then it stopped and he was being short with my texts, etc... "what is this, me, catching feelings? ...no, it can't be" lol.

Our friend Jonathan invited me and a friend out to eat one day and Mel and I hadn't spoken in about a month so he had him come to, after arguing over dinner a bit we decided we'd hang out soon. Well that's where it started, we hung out and ever since then we've been together. I was so worried that if it didn't work that it would ruin our wonderful friendship but God had been preparing him just for me and I for him.

Two years later, my best friend proposed to me on 12-10-10.  The 12 was for my birthday, the 10 for his...and 5 months later we were married.  All that time my soul mate was right in front of me and I was looking everywhere but there.

This weekend we get to celebrate our first year of husband and wife together. I'm honored to call him husband and I pray that he's just as honored to call me wife. We've gotten to know even more things about each other in this year. You think you know someone really well until you marry them and move in together. I'm thankful for God being first in our life and that we can keep our line of communication open. Marriage is a beautiful thing but it is something that requires work. The work you put in is what you get out, enjoy each other, respect each other, accept the differences and vow to make the other happy.

I wish each of you that come across my blog the same happiness that I've been blessed with.

Happy Anniversary to Us... *cheers*

~the gorgeous dork

So I'm wrong???

One day I will be more consistent with my blogging. I promise! It just seems to be something going on all the time that I don't get around to it. I'm totally to blame and have no problem owning up to it (smile).

So, I get questioned often about "why are you so happy", "why do you always have to post positive stuff", "your life can't be that great"... REALLY? Why are these even questions?

Listen, when I was a kid,  a teen, young adult...I had an attitude. I will admit to that one but it took some time for me to admit it. Why did I have an attitude? Because people caused me lots of pain when I was younger. I was talked about for being light skinned, I was talked about for going to private school, I was talked about because of what I had or anything else stupid you can think of. I had problems with females most of my life, so I usually took more to males. I then became a "hoe", because I had so many male friends. So, I developed an attitude as a security blanket. I gave attitude first so you didn't get the opportunity to hurt me. Dumb? Yes...but its what happened.

As I grew older and had lots of my mothers friends who gave me tons of advice. ( I also used to stay around the older crowd because they didn't make me feel like my peers did). They would often tell me, you should never dim your light because someone else is threatened by your greatness. My parents also told me this too, thank God that seed was embedded because it helped me get to where I am today. When I was in college I became obsessed  with self help. I wanted to be better, that was a huge goal of mine. I read books, from Iyanla and many other great authors. But, I wasn't ready quite yet. I still had some growing to do and that is to be expected for a young lady in her twenties.

I've been hurt so many times during my life by friends, strangers, etc but all of that helped me become who I am today. I drown myself in being happy, in being better, in mastering my mind, helping others, empowering others, supporting others. I live it, I breathe it but it was hard work. Being optimistic, choosing happiness requires work but it can happen. I got rid of a lot of friends and so called friends, people who were not adding any value to my life. People who constantly brought drama amongst other things.

I started reading, I started affirming, I started praying, I started forgiving, I started loving more, I started smiling more and so on. Whew, thank God I am where I am now. I love hard, always have but now I love better. I forgave myself and anyone who had ever hurt me. I have done so much to get here, to get to this moment.  God's grace and mercy helps me everyday. I keep myself spiritually plugged in and I got myself a life coach. Everything I learn I want to pass on to save someone else from themselves.

I said all that to say this. There is nothing wrong with someone being happy, there is nothing wrong with living happy and choosing happ"y"ness. IF you are having trouble with getting here, I can help you. Trust me there are days where you have not so good days but you don't focus on that...its part of being human. But never let anyone keep you from being the best you, the happy you! They are the ones with the issue. Smile harder, love harder, it will eventually rub off. Many know my glory but don't know my story which is far deeper than posted here and my story is what got me to the awesome me I am today!

I love you, whoever reads this. I'm here to help.

~thegorgeousdork

Without questioning...

So, I know I'm very sporadic with my posts but sometimes there just isn't time. I know, I need to make more time right? lol.

So, about a month ago a friend lost her mother and I was feeling some sort of way and actually worried for her but she made sure we all knew she was just fine. Her mother had been battling cancer for the second time. I lost my father to cancer along with an uncle in 09 and '10. Last summer I lost my grandmother but it was pretty much natural causes.  In the past 7 years I've lost so many important people that I struggle sometimes not to question God. I know that death is a part of life but why do they have to all be back to back and all be such big pieces of the puzzle?

Yesterday morning I lost my Godmother...to yes, cancer! She had been dealing with it and made all of us feel like things were getting better. So, when I got the call yesterday morning it took my breath away. She was such a big piece of the puzzle in my life. Why? but I didn't ask. I kept the "why?" to myself. I knew my Godmother loved God more than anything in this world. I was comforted in knowing that she did not have to suffer much. She experienced one day of pain, praise God. I know she is in heaven and about to celebrate Easter up close and personal. I look forward to the day we meet again.  My message to her was that I loved her and would miss her but could she please kiss my father for me. 

I have experience so much loss but I am eternally grateful for my experiences with all the loved ones I have lost for they were all memories that I will cherish forever. I am also thankful for the wonderful family I have and the friends because they all are here for me no matter what. How many can say that they have that? Not many. I am truly blessed. 

Forgive, Love, Live, Laugh and keep God first!